The Rekindlement
then it Ended, leaving only
memory; fading
into a jitter and twitch
toward distant twilight
obscured, a swarth
(imagined) against the darkened moon
yet gleaming at the edge of nothing
with the burst and crack of fear
and all silence.
...
with that deep gulp of Death, immersed in some Great Fountain, agasp in Joy;
bedazzled by the untetherable ache of a full midday beam
and cloaked by an immaterial glow, a soul swollen
by the very first true fear, unadulterated, naked, vulnerability...
Then,
singing.
...
"You must be strong with my strength and blessed with my blessedness, for I have no other to give you."
in the Culmination, beauty and fullness.
yet in the silence: this aching, unbendable
Fear. yet alongside it, before it, and beyond...the only Consoling Mystery.
...
we in Togetherness,
with no masquerade; instead, utter unknowing
filled with final certainty. It is finished.
...
choosing to embrace that life that is
by faith, by faith, by faith...
5 Comments:
Wow.
This should be published.
Thank you, Craig. I wrote it for you, as a sort of meager consolance in the face of Kyle's death.
He, now at the "Culmination," is all "beauty" and "fullness," while we here "in the silence," have this "aching, unbendable Fear. yet alongside it, before it, and beyond it...the only Consoling Mystery."
The one quotation I embedded in the poem was one of C.S. Lewis' favorite quotes from George MacDonald (his favorite author). It struck me as quite beautiful in its expression of the fact that we CAN be strong with His strength and blessed with His blessedness, even in the midst of grief, mourning, and dissonant hope, and, that all He has to give us has, in all actuality, been offered, and that this Consoling Mystery that we find in Him, though dissonant, is still, in fact, hope enough.
My very favorite stanza is meant to depict Kyle as having been washed in the Great Fountain (I can just see him splashing around with the youth and vigor of a child), then looking up into a Great Blinding Light (the midday beam), then transformed into this glowing creature that is best described as the swelling of a soul which, in so doing, overtakes and redeems his nature and flesh...fully. And that it was "the very first true fear, unadulterated, naked, vulnerabilty," which overtook him from the gaze into the Light, that provoked that miraculous transfiguration.
Lovely, Blake.
Thanks, Jeanne!
For those interested, C.S. Lewis wrote the following Epitaph for his wife, Helen Joy Davidman (I found it to be in the same spirit as "the rekindlement"):
"Here the whole world (stars, water, air
And field, and forest, as they were
Reflected in a single mind)
Like cast-off clothes was left behind
In ashes yet with hope that she,
Re-born from holy poverty,
In lenten lands, hereafter may
Resume them on her Easter Day."
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